fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
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