If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
