i think my tv is drunk
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
