If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
