so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
