He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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