Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Randomize