Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Randomize
