He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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