Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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