Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
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