he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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