He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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