Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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