no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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