WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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