I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
