Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize