Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Randomize
