i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
