I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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