every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
