My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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