Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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