I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
