thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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