We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
So vagazzling was a success
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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