i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize