I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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