I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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