Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
The uberlube is also flammable
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
