oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
