but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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