OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize