And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
