Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
