Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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