woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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