I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
