no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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