Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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