I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
