i think my tv is drunk
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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