fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
