my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
