Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I queefed so loud it echoed.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
