It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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