We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
People in love make me want to vomit
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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