Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
