The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
