jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just had sex on a roof
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
