This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
