He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize