Cold hands, warm shart.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
