tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
