Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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