i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize