Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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