Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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