the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
