I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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