well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize