I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
