dude i'm inner monologue high
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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