Michael Bay diarrhea
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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